Clutter

Sorry for the long silence, dear reader...

It has been quite a few frantic weeks, filled with lots and lots of clutter. My apartment has been cluttered, my desk at work has been cluttered, my brain has been cluttered... well, you get the point.

I am not sure how I let it get to this point. The past few months have been about trying to find the delicate balance between over categorizing every aspect of my life, and the slow stacking of events, situations and papers across my desk. When everything finally has a set place and there is nothing to put away, I feel this elusive sense of peace and relief, which often quickly fades away once I realize that I forgot to file an important document. I wonder if the delicate balance really represents happiness... I wonder if my life would be much simpler if I could somehow keep the delicate balance intact for more than a few months. 

Too many questions to think about.  A couple nights ago, I started decluttering my apartment one area at a time, one evening at a time. An evening in my closet reminded me of the long way I have come, an evening in my pantry made realize that I really do not like canned beans, an evening in my desk drawer brought back random childhood memories of me dancing around in my bedroom (which I still do to this day!).  And finally tonight, trying to think about what to declutter, I decided to try tackling my brain and write down all the thoughts, fears, uncertainties that have taken over lately. It felt really good. I think I found the sweet spot... for a brief moment at least! Wait a minute... I have been here before. Except this time, I am taking notes, categorizing each... never mind...

Maybe one day, I will learn... In the meantime, maybe some hot tea will help.

Good night, reader

EED