Inspiration

What it takes

It takes a second for the mirror to tell me lies
For me to feel UN-beautiful

It takes 5 minutes to listen to my doubts
For me to give up hope


It takes an entire day for me to chase the lies
For me to feel worthy again

It takes countless reminders of goodness
For me to remember where I came from

It takes one word for me to feel beautiful,
One touch for me to feel confident,
One act of kindnessnfor me to feel loved,
One sweet note for me to feel encouraged,
One happy song to start dancing again

What it takes for me to smile again?
Another smile.

eed

A letter to Amelie Poulain

Dear reader, if you still have not seen a little movie called "Le Fabuleux destin d'Amelie Poulain" aka "Amelie from Monmartre", what are you waiting for? Go ahead... rent it, watch it, and thank me later. And if you hate it... sorry!

Dear Amelie,

When we first met circa 2001, I did not really understand you. You were cute, and charming, but a total mystery to me.We have met repeatedly since then, and each time I would get more puzzled and confused. Sure, we had similar tendencies to get lost in our daydreams, still I could not relate to your habit of watching your life go by without chasing after you wanted. Over the years though, I have learned to appreciate your cautious outlook on life. Over time, (not unlike your neighbor Mr. Dufayel), my bones turned into glass and I started avoiding the outside world for fear of breaking my precious, brittle self. Daydreams turned into silly unrealistic fantasies, and soon I found myself guilty of imitating you and your overly cautious lifestyle.

I have to admit it was both funny and ironic to find myself in that position... Life sure has a great sense of humor! Anywho.... Here I am again, after putting you on my shelf for a little while, I brought you back into my life and started paying more attention to your dreams, words and confessions. The one thing I love about watching you, is that I always catch something new every time. This time, it was this line from your "funeral" scene:

"Rater sa vie est un droit inalienable"- non literal translation: "We are all entitled to ruin our lives"

You are right, Amelie! So what if I want to do nothing and wait for life to whiz by at an alarming rate? No one can stop me. What if I have a good reason to be stuck? What if I am waiting on the sidelines for something better to come along? Is that also considered wasting my life away?  Your elaborate schemes and stratagems to turn your own life around end up failing, forcing you to wake up and literally chase your dream.  Does it mine mine are bound to fail too? Oh Amelie, why did you have to make me so confused?

I often wonder what your everafter looks like. Are you and Nicholas raising children who dream big, and spend their time making up beautiful imaginary worlds? I am not quite sure why I still have trouble dreaming big. OK, I am lying... I dream big (quite often) I just don't believe in my dreams. I cherish them for a while, put them in a box and forget about them for a long time.

Dear Amelie, if you are reading this, maybe you can share some of your wisdom with me. Maybe you can remind me of what it takes to let go the the mindless voices who keep telling you that the world is dark, cold and unforgiving. Remind me of that moment, when you finally ran out that door to meet the rest of the world. Remind of the moment the world took your breath away. Remind of the moment you finally let go of your fears. Till then!

eed,