The bubble

I love my bubble.

Especially on cold Ohio days, like the ones we have had the past few days. My bubble keeps me safe, it keeps me warm, but most of all it keeps my heart out of harm's way. I am not just talking cheesy, lovey dovey stuff, but also relationships with friends, co workers, bosses...you name it. I hate getting hurt. But really who doesn't?

Over time I have created this nice little blue bubble, that can be visible to a few. One of my close friends, reminded me the other day that it took my 3 years to even speak to her. (So sorry about that!). I told her she should feel extremely lucky, as my average is typically 5 to 6 years into the bubble. Haha! Of course, there are exceptions... Sometimes you just meet a person and feel like they have been a part of your life forever... I have to be honest, these people both scare me, and bring joy in my life.

One of my favorite childhood cartoons called: "Clementine". tells the story of a little girl (named Clementine), who travel through space and time in her blue bubble. It was not until I was older that I realized that she had no option but to dream/ live her world from her bubble. She  was paralyzed after being involved in a plane accident, and her guardian angel (sort of), Elmira, would take her on amazing adventures to 1) lift her spirits 2) to help her escape her arch nemesis, Malmotte. When I started reading up on Clementine as an adult, it dawned on me that she needed the bubble to get out IN the world, not to escape it. Without her bubble, she was confined to the four walls of her bedroom, and would have to miss out on the beauty (and dangers) of the world. Throughout her adventures, she faces multiple encounters with her nemesis' minions, until she finally gets brave enough to confront him.

The truth is, my bubble has been shrinking and I did not realize it until recently. I find that I do not feel to the need to carry it with me everywhere I go. The best part about it is that I cannot recall when I made a conscious decision to let go, it just kind of happened. Sure, I sometimes feel the need to pull it out of retirement, it is not a constant presence anymore. 

And for that, I am happy.

EED

The race

I really should be sleeping right now, but I cannot seem to shut my mind off. I could not figure out why until I typed the title of this post: the race. 

I signed up for another half marathon a few months ago, and I was supposed to race in a few hours. Sadly, due to unforeseen circumstances earlier this summer, I had to stop my training and running  for a little while. One may think that you can pick up where you left off after not running for a few months, but that certainly was not the case for me. The endurance it takes to run 13.1 miles is something I had to work hard to build, only to lose it all in a matter of weeks. 

I find that running the second mile of a race is always painful for me. The first mile feels great, the adrenaline is pumping, the people are excited, the music is upbeat, and the volunteers are always ALWAYS overly enthusiastic. By mile 2.2 or so, my body seems to slow down, as if to say "What in the world do you think you are doing?" This is true whether I am running 3 or 10 miles. 

In many ways, I feel I have hit that 2.2 mile slowdown. I know in the back of my mind I just need to keep going, because by mile 3, the excitement, energy and sense of accomplishment almost always return. Still I cannot help but wanting to stop, and sit on the side of the road. For all I know, my laces are untied and I need to make sure they are up for the race ahead. Yup, maybe that's all it is. I need a quick break to make sure I have everything I need. There is nothing worse than being unprepared for a long run, especially on a hot summer day...

Mile 3, here I come!

eed

I write because

I write because when I say "quilt" I sometime say "kilt" instead

I write because words are more beautiful when they stare back at me

I write becaue my voice can sometimes get lost in the loudness

I write because my thoughts have a life of their own

I write because it is hard for me to say "I love you"

I write because I have no other option

I write because words swirl constantly in my brain

I write because I can

I write because it helps me connect with you

I write because I want to be heard

I write because I have a story to tell

I write because.... 

eed