Let it go

No, this post is not about the movie, FROZEN, which I have no intention of watching at this point in my life. It is about literally letting go of something, either physically, spiritually or metaphorically speaking.

I have been having this recurring nightmare, where I am hanging on to the edge of a cliff. My hands are holding on so tight, that my knuckles turn clear. My body is tense, my muscles ache, and fear feels me up faster than a holy raft. In the dream, when I finally open up my eyes, all I see is a blue sky and fluffy clouds; instead of the dark storm I seem to be expecting my mind. Just when my shoulders are about to give in, my fingers finally open up and I wake up instantly with a deep sense of anxiety and clenched hands... 

I am not good at letting go. In fact, I tend to hang on so hard sometimes, that my fingers get all tensed up, and grasp for however long I can. My dad used to call me “The iron lady” (yes, as in Margaret Tacther) when I was younger. I was (and still to some degree still am to this day) the most stubborn child growing up. I just tend to hold on tight some things, feelings, and emotions. I am quick to forgive others, but rarely myself..

Today, I decided to let go. It was terrifying, overwhelming and exhilarating. I am not sure how I feel right now... It is quite the mixed the bag, but overall I feel terrified, overwhelmed, exhilarated.

I feel good. 

eed